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"Hi, how's life?"
"I'm fine,"
"No, you lied,"
"How can you know?"
"I just know,"
It is hard when you have a bunch of decisions that strike you in one single moment. Then, you start to feels something burdened in your chest with the strange-mixed thoughts that come out of nowhere. That's exactly what I feel about the last few days. So, I started to find why this feeling occurs and wishing that I could find the answer.
To find an emotional balance, I was the kind of person who loves to think about what I feel in a day. The last few days were completely different. I surprisingly find myself took hours just profoundly thinking what I'm feeling that day. Badly, the results are: those occurred feelings are the feelings I didn't recognize, it's unknown. But I suddenly remember the note I wrote the other day in my journal. It is about how I'm trying to comprehend the inner-side of myself. I find out that I classified two things which I think recurringly emanate inside me, those things I mentioned are fear and intuition.
I have zero ideas if intuition considered as feelings or it's another entity? But I'm pretty sure that fear was a feeling. What I'm trying to say is, at some point, I hate seeing fear living inside me, and I'd prefer following my intuition. Because of fear living inside me was uncontrollable and tense, while intuition had a propensity to guide and help me creating clear visions. Intuition was controllable and relax.
Besides that, all my life, I always touched by the kindness of human beings. I love to remember how they made me feel, how they treated me along the way. I might not know a lot of people, but once I initiated a conversation with you, you might be special. And when your words are meaningful to me, I usually wrote it down in my journal, to keep myself sane during the amygdala block, lol.
Subjectively, I see a good person is like an intuition that resonates inside me. Especially those people who are easily read between the lines, I mean, they know best what I needed most by just talking to me. In my life, I might not know many people, yet I found some who are guiding me like no one ever has.
Whenever I'm feeling afraid, their words help me get through the fear. It might sound quite whimsical, but I found that words that those people gave, work on me, especially because my mind seems to get clouded easily. I love the warm feeling I have inside, just right after I talked to those people so I could get a grasp of my existence here, I feel so alive, all vision feels brand new, it tastes like a revelation for me. I'm so grateful that I have them in my life.
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